I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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