I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
