never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
