a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
