dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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