So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
