you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
