Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
