he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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