If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
