It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
