I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
