Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my poor anus
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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