i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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