I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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