Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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