wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize