Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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