you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
