I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
