Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize