There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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