would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
