I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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