she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
