I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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