My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
