My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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