By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
