I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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