I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
