I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
