I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize