I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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