Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
