All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
