the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
