I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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