thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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