holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
