i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
