I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
