I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
