So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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