Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
