Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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