I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
