It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
