How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize