What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
