I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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