so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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