I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
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Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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