Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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