Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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