Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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