I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
