booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
