who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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