he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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