You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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