That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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