i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
