i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
