I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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