But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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