but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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