he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
