I can tuck mytits in my pants
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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